‘La La Land’ is the Worst.

December 2019.

*according to me, a twenty-year-old with nothing but strong personal opinions that bare no actual weight in the grand scheme of things.

Hi there,

A prior warning before this truly begins, I mean what I say in the title. This is not a ‘ooh La La Land is the WORST because Ryan Gosling is so hot and I love jazz and OMG a musical without a happy ending is sooo mind blowing and creative’ kind of hatred for the film. This is a ‘La La Land is my least favourite film that I have ever seen’. The only film that has ever come close to the level of hatred I feel towards this 2017 Oscar-Winning motion picture, is the Eric Idle farce ‘Nuns on the Run 2’. With this film, unlike ‘La La Land’ I find it much harder to pinpoint where this hatred comes from.

The hatred I feel towards ‘La La Land’ is so intense, that I spent a good portion of my NYE this year (last year?! what do we say?) arguing with a person I had never met before about why it deserved approximately 0 awards and is insulting to the genre of Musicals, when really on NYE all I wanted to be doing was drinking Buck’s Fizz, singing badly and getting emotional about another year ending. Except, no, I view it as my civic duty to step in for ‘La La Land’s’ Offence no matter the time, event or place.

My main reasoning for this hatred that fuels my soul and feeds the little devil on my shoulder is as follows;

‘La La Land’ is the most boring film ever.

The music is boring. The visuals are boring. The concept of a musical being set in LA about Hollywood is boooooooooooooring. Halfway through everyone’s face starts to get boring. The ending is boring ‘wow an alternate timeline where they end up together. amazing stuff’. It is 2hrs 8 minutes of boring. Yes, it does hark back to the golden age of musical motion pictures, but it does it boringly. I did not connect with either of the main characters, I wanted most of the songs to be over as soon as they began (okay, I will allow ‘Another Day of Sun’ to stay, because that scene is the literal only good thing about the film in my opinion), the pace of the film is intolerably slow, and finally- wait, I can’t even be eloquent or reasonable any more – I just bloody hate it.

Sometimes as humans we’re allowed to irrationally hate things – right?!

Well … I do perhaps know one more reason I am bitter and twisted about ‘La La Land’ is that my favourite film of all time, also a musical, was released in the exact same year. So you can imagine how watching ‘La La Land’ get its grabby boring jazz-piano hands on all the ‘Best Motion Picture Comedy or Musical’ awards that it, and my favourite film were nominated for , felt like a tap shoe through the heart.

Now, dear reader, the word you’re looking for to describe me right now is bitter. And I accept that, and would even go one further – bitter and jaded. That I am.

‘SING STREET’ THE CHARMING COMING-OF-AGE MUSICAL COMEDY DRAMA IS MUCH BETTER THAN ‘LA LA LAND’ IS OR EVER WILL BE. IN MY OPINION.

But instead of just being unfair towards ‘La La Land’, I feel that I should offer up something constructive instead of just tearing down a film that a lot of people love and a lot of people were proud of working on.

So, here is my list of ‘If you like this bit of ‘La La Land’ I think you’ll enjoy this musical motion picture that I actually like’.

Enjoy the genre bending music of ‘La La Land’? Enjoy that it doesn’t sound too ‘box square for your life’? Try Sing Street.

Obviously my first recommendation would be ‘Sing Street’, a film that I personally cannot find a fault in. But in all honesty the soundtrack is stupendous and feels just like it could all have jumped out of the 80s. Through the fictional bands sound evolution in the film, it is fun to hear them trying out all the different 80s subgroups and genres of music.

Enjoy the ambiguous ending of ‘La La Land’? Enjoyed having your ‘who-ends-up-with-who predictions come out incorrect?

Well then ‘High Society’ with Grace Kelly is the one for you! Less of a love triangle happening in this film, and more of a ‘love square’, the couples that end up together will certainly keep you on your toes. Also, Louis Armstrong!

Enjoy the city setting in ‘La La Land’? Like your musicals with a metropolitan air?

Then ‘Funny Face’ is the musical du jour! New York City and Paris feature so predominately throughout that they act as an additional character. ‘Funny Face’ includes similar themes on individuality and pursuing ‘your art’ to ‘La La Land’. The iconic ‘Funny Face’ scene where Jo is posing in front of the Arc Du Triomphe with a bunch of multicoloured balloons is actually referenced in the Epilogue of ‘La La Land’!

So, there you have it.

The rant about ‘La La Land’ that I’m sure you’ve been waiting for. Maybe you feel validated in your own hatred of the film, or maybe I have deeply offended your favourite film ever – and in that case I am very sorry, please wipe this post from your memory.

Rachael Skingle

‘La La Land’ is the Worst.